3 Phrases NOT to Live By
Years ago I read this phrase on a matcha green tea bottle cap and snapped a picture: Good things come to those who hustle.
(I spent 10-minutes looking for the picture to share with you, but gave up because I realized I was just procrastinating.)
I used to live by phrases like these — back when I was brainwashed to believe that my value was in what I produced and bigness was a virtue.
Here are some more you probably recognize:
Work hard, play hard.
Go big or go home.
Do you buy these? Sure, there may be some truth to them, and I’m not against a little hustle from time to time, but I don’t like these as a life slogans.
After-all, an I’ll sleep when I’m dead mentality is so 2010!
Most of us value a good nights sleep. And beyond that, many of us not only know, but feel that taking breaks during the workday fuels our energy, focus and creativity.
How about you, have you noticed a decline in your own drive to hustle?
Maybe the pandemic has helped you reprioritize your life, or maybe you’ve been on this trajectory for a while now…
Maybe you’re setting better boundaries at work, maybe you’re speaking up for yourself a bit more, or saying no to the things that you don’t have the capacity for.
Maybe you’re resting more, or taking mental health days like Simone Biles, how revolutionary!
As a business owner, I can sense in many of the women I team up with a renewed sense of self-alignment in how they choose to work — what they say yes to, how quickly they reply to emails, and how they communicate their needs with less room for compromise.
And I have to admit, sometimes this can feel threatening. When we’re used to someone not having good boundaries (aka, being a people pleaser), whether it be a colleague, partner, friend, or our own child, it can feel scary when they start to express themselves in a more self-honoring way. This is because on a primal level we feel like we’re losing something, which triggers fear.
The same is true for ourselves. It’s scary (and maybe feels a bit foreign) to speak up when something isn’t working for us — to say how we feel and ask for what we need — but this is how we interrupt the entangled patterns of people pleasing and perfectionism — which as you may know can be a major cause of anxiety, stress, burnout and ensuing health issues.
So yes, HUSTLE CULTURE IS FALLING. Hallelujah. Bring it on.
As we as individuals realize our worthiness, we feel less like we need to prove it to others. Gone are the days when we sacrifice ourselves, our health, our relationships, our dreams, our purpose…
But to make it happen requires a commitment by each one of us to remembering our sensing, feeling, intuitive nature. I don’t know about you, but when I stop practicing, even for a few days, the old patterns creep back in.
We’ve been living in a world where hustle-energy is overvalued for too long, and it’s showing…in the climate, in public health, in the dehumanization of Black and Brown people by White people.
There is nothing wrong with going big and working hard, but we have to make space for the other things that make us human — good humans. Without our sensing, feeling, intuitive side we risk becoming more like robots.
My weekly messages (lately bi-weekly because hey, it’s summer) are here to remind us all of our depth, and where our power lies. To encourage compassionate self-reflection and radical self-care as tools to unravel what isn’t working within ourselves and collectively.
Now, for all you givers who are hustlin’ to make the world a better place, I see you and I thank you; just remember, you can only nourish others as much as you nourish yourself.
Here’s to meeting ourselves where we are and finding beauty in the process,
Allie
P.S. Another term for hustle-culture is patriarchy, which is at least in part the result of over-valuing masculine-energy qualities (yang) and undervaluing feminine-energy qualities (yin), within ourselves and systemically, overtime. Dive deeper into this distinction here.
About the Author: Allie Andrews
With a decade of experience in the wellness and coaching industry, Allie has partnered with 65 companies and helped hundreds of achievers and workaholics find a pace and rhythm to living that feels sustainable and nourishing.
As a coach, Allie helps her clients grow their impact while prioritizing their health, deepening their relationships, and following their joy.
Allie is a lifelong student of personal growth, certified health coach, yoga teacher, and sex and relationship coach.
Instagram: @iamallieandrews // Facebook: Allie Andrews Coaching // LinkedIn